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Writer's pictureJennifer Fordham

Is Learning at Home Making it Hard for Your Child to Get Things Done?

Online school means students have to manage more of their schoolwork independently, no matter what grade they are in. Learning from a distance means less supervision and less interaction with the teacher. Students of all ages are expected to manage their school assignments with their parents’ help - or alone. Have you noticed they struggle with that? What an understatement!


If you or your child have been diagnosed with ADHD, you may have heard the term executive functioning, but many people have never had reason to learn about this collection of higher order skills. I’m here to tell you that challenges with executive skills are not isolated to just those with ADHD. In our new world of COVID-19, distance learning, and working from home, we see near constant struggles with executive function.


If you’re like me, you imagine executive brain functions to be like a CEO wearing a suit in the corner office of your brain, leading the efforts of the team as the big boss. Executive function is just that: humans’ ability to manage behavior to envision and execute longer term, complex tasks.


To do that we must manage ourselves with organization, time management, focus, attention, and persistence towards goals. We may understand our goal is to complete a project, but our ability to inhibit impulses and follow a detailed plan to achieve that goal varies from person to person and from day to day. Executive function also involves our ability to regulate our emotions and understand our own needs and abilities well enough to adapt to novel situations.


This is hard enough for adults working from home where the laundry, dishes, and every minor household interruption derails our progress - let alone for a child who is lacking in the development and the experience to be fully independent. A young brain’s CEO isn’t completely effective at their job yet.



So what to do? First, recognize that getting things done is legitimately difficult. Children simply do not yet have all the skills to efficiently and effectively navigate a school day on their own. Give them (and yourself) the space and the grace to not get things done. Try to avoid labeling their lack of organization or progress as a flaw or a failure. Celebrate even the smallest successes.


Consider your child’s challenges from two angles: what can I change in my child’s environment that can assist them? and what can I reasonably expect to change within my child: their habits, behaviors, and mindset?


Changes to the environment can include:

Setting up a dedicated area for schoolwork with limited distractions

Using visual cues or reminders for tasks, such as timers and smartphone notifications.

Modify the nature of the task. For example, learning vocabulary can be accomplished through games just as easily as with flashcards

Asking for help and creating a support network of people and tools


Changes to the person involve:

Learning and practicing school skills and study habits that are not formally taught in school

Identifying and managing impulses and emotions

Individualizing short and long term goals

Creating incentives for motivation

Setting routines

Evaluating mindset

Self-reflecting on progress and challenges


An executive function coach can help you find individual strengths to make progress on the areas of greatest challenge. Like bootcamp for your brain’s CEO!


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